After someone you love dies, their belongings can become both a comfort and a source of pain. Clothes, books, photos, and everyday items suddenly carry deep emotional weight. Deciding what to do with these things can feel overwhelming, and there’s no right or wrong way to go about it.

Why It’s So Hard to Let Go

Every item can feel like a piece of the person you’ve lost. A favourite jumper, a handwritten note, or even a coffee mug can trigger memories and emotions. You might feel guilty for wanting to clear things out, or guilty for keeping too much. These feelings are normal. Grief doesn’t follow a timeline, and neither should this process. You don’t have to make decisions right away.

Take Your Time

There’s no rush. If it feels too soon, it probably is. Some people wait weeks, others wait years. You might start with one drawer or one box. Small steps are still progress. If you’re not ready to part with anything, consider packing items away temporarily. This gives you space to grieve without feeling pressured to decide.

Keep What Matters Most

You don’t have to keep everything to honour someone’s memory. Choose a few meaningful items: a piece of jewellery, a book they loved, a scarf that still smells like them. These can become cherished keepsakes. You might also consider creating a memory box or photo album to hold special items in one place.

Letting Go Doesn’t Mean Forgetting

Donating or giving away belongings doesn’t erase your connection. Passing items on can be a way of sharing their legacy. You might give a coat to someone in need, or donate books to a local library in their name. If it helps, write a note or take a photo before letting something go. It’s okay to honour the memory while still making space in your life.

Ask for Help if You Need It

Sorting through belongings can be emotionally exhausting. Don’t be afraid to ask a friend or family member to sit with you, help you decide, or simply listen.